Acceptance and Commitment Therapy... Say what???

"When we are in the midst of chaos, let go of the need to control it. Be awash in it, experience it in that moment, try not to control the outcome but deal with the flow as it comes" ~ Leo Babauta

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (or "ACT", spoken as the word, not A-C-T) has been around for a while. However, it has been getting more press recently as a therapeutic modality, and I have fallen in love with it! I have found that it can work really well for anxiety and depression, because it helps with emotion regulation. The main tenet of ACT is "acceptance". Acceptance of your emotions and thoughts- rather than avoiding them- which is our naturally tendency when we are feeling anxious or scared. Fight or flight, right?

Watch this YouTube Video called "Demons on the Boat"... (yes, I am aware of how incredibly cheesy this is- I just love how well it gets the point across, and causes a little giggle at the same time!):

Acceptance is MUCH easier said than done. But here are some ACT tools that you can read about to get a flavor...

B.O.L.D. skills- 
B- breathe deeply/slowing down   When you notice the anxiety, pause and do some belly breathing (see below). Physically focusing on your breathing, while seeming like it can't do much, can physically slow down panic attacks. It takes you out of your head for a moment, and puts you back in touch with your body.
O- observe Once you have slowed down and lessened the emotion, you can take a look at what is going on. Observe the sounds you hear, the things you see, the smells you smell. Or create some of those things- if there is a smell you like, put on some lotion that smells good or light a candle. Put on some soft music.
L- listen to your values  What matters to you? What do you stand for? When we are in our emotional mind, we lose sight of our values and let our emotions rule our brain. But ask yourself these questions. Maybe you value being a good mother, or kindness, or your faith. Hold on to these values.
D- decide on your actions, then do them Use your values to help you decide what you would like to be doing. How you can use your values to help you accept how you are feeling right now.

Belly breathing:
When people feel anxious, they tend to take short, shallow breathes through their chest. Slowing it down means making a conscious effort to push the air into your stomach (not really, but you know what I mean) like you are blowing up a balloon in your stomach. This is something that can even be taught to kids who struggle with anxiety or tantrums. Have them lie down on their backs, and put a stuffed animal on their tummy. They are belly breathing correctly if the animal is going up and down.

Acceptance does not mean that "like" how you are feeling, or that you are OK with it. It means that you are willing to let yourself feel the feelings rather than frantically avoiding or trying to change them. Willingness is saying to yourself, "I am willing to feel __________________ in order to have/get/gain ________________". (Ex: "I am willing to feel anxious in this moment in order to gain this time with my baby." "I am willing to feel/tolerate this anxiety in order to have better sleep/be healthier".)

It is hard to do, but it is possible. And the more you practice acceptance, the easier it gets.

If you would like to learn more about ACT, I recommend the following books:

"Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind". Bruce Lee