In my practice, I see so many adults who have lost touch with the basics of self-care: sleeping well, eating right, exercising, hobbies, sharing feelings... and it struck me, as I observe children, and really paid attention to what they do (and what we as parents do for them), I wondered where we lose these basics? Why do we make sure our children have these basic needs met, but we minimize the importance of our own basic needs?
Let's look at them each in more detail...
Sleep This is a big one. Most adults don't get enough sleep. When you look at children, those who are well-rested anyways, they are on a "schedule". I know that when my kids were infants, I was a total sleep Nazi. I made sure that nothing interfered with nap or bedtime, even if it meant missing a birthday party, or showing up late for an event. I treasured their sleep schedule like a fragile egg. Because hey- we all know that a well-rested child is a happy child. So why do we, as adults, expect to function well with no sleep schedule, and not enough hours of sleep? Sure- most of us aren't laying on the ground crying and throwing a tantrum, but we feel like we want to on the inside. Adults function better if they consistently get to bed around the same time each night, wake up the same time in the morning (even on weekends) and get enough hours of sleep (7-8 hours for most adults).
Eating right Kids are like little sheep: they graze most of the day. If you pay close attention, kids tend to eat three meals and three snacks a day. And if you read articles about nutrition, it is recommended that adults eat 5-6 mini-meals per day. Hmm.... just like kids do! So, with the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, we tell ourselves it's OK to skip breakfast, binge at lunch, then be sleepy all afternoon, only to eat a carb-laden supper and then sit around all evening feeling bloated. If adults ate more like children, blood sugars would be more stable, mood would feel more positive, and they would notice a more consistent level of energy throughout the day.
Exercising Do I need to say more about this? Just watch kids for a while- if they go ANYWHERE, the aren't walking there, they are running. I once had a friend tell me that this was going to be his next exercise plan. Go to the mailbox- run there. Go to the car- run there. That's what kids do- and they feel better because of it.
Hobbies When I meet with a new patient, and work on getting to know him or her, I spend time asking what they enjoy doing with their free time. Unfortunately, more often than not, I hear "I'm not sure what I like to do". Often, this is a result of having kids, a marriage and a career, and along with this comes the loss of who that person is as an individual. Kids don't mind that they only have ten minutes to break out the paints and make a picture. They do it anyways, trying to squeeze in every amount of fun that they can. Adults grumble about the lack of time and energy, and lose sight of what they enjoy. So if you only have 10-15 minutes, that's OK! Break out your book and read a chapter. Write an entry in your journal. Go outside and snap some photos. You don't need a large chunk of time to enjoy life.
Feelings You don't have to be around little kids long to see an expression of emotion. When they're tired, hungry, scared, mad, sad, etc. you know it. They scream, cry, lash out, throw themselves on the ground kicking and screaming. Yes, it is our job as parents to teach our children more appropriate ways of expressing their emotions. It's not OK to bite, kick, throw things, scream in public... but we still encourage them to share how they feel. When do adults stop doing this? A large majority of people experiencing depression and anxiety stuff their feelings. It's taboo to talk about, or nobody wants to hear it, or that's what people assume. Stop stuffing it! It's not doing you any good!
So for one day, take the things that people apply to their children and apply them to yourself. See how different you feel!
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