Violation of Company Policy

I am sure we all know somebody (or have heard of somebody) who was terminated from their job due to "Violation of Company Policy". This could be the person who was using the internet for, ahem, "personal reasons". Or dating a co-worker, or one who had an affair. Stealing office supplies... The point is, companies have rules that they expect you to follow. Most of them involve boundaries and respect (oh, and laws). Most people follow these rules. These rules are generally in writing, and made clear upon the start of the job. Some companies even require that you sign something showing that these rules were explained, and that you understood them, and that there are consequences for not following these rules.

Your relationship should have a "Company Policy", and many do. However, the policy is generally not in writing, generally not made clear to both parties, and generally nothing is signed saying that this "Policy" was explained, understood and what the consequences were for violating this policy.

Often times, we break rules in our relationships that we wouldn't dream of doing in our jobs. If we were running late to work, most people would call their boss and give him/her a heads up. If you made a mistake, or were confused by something that you were working on, there would be a staff meeting to discuss it. Or an apology made with a promise to do better next time. You have an annual review that goes over how you are doing, and where improvement is needed.

Our culture supports the structure and bureaucracy of corporate policies. There is not room for mind-reading. If things aren't in writing, someone could get sued. Unfortunately, our culture does not support the same respect for relationships, where couples would be taught the way to communicate and contract with each other what the expectations and policies are. But you can do this in your own relationship.

Sit down with your partner and ask what the unwritten rules are for your relationship. Where are the boundaries? What do you expect from each other? How do you continually assess how each other is doing? What happens when someone violates a rule? Some couples even choose to put this in writing, sign it, and hang it on their fridge. You can do this, but the most important piece is not leaving your relationship to chance. The consequences are much bigger than getting a warning, or not getting an annual bonus.