Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The "What If?" train to Crazy-Land...

Ah, the first day of school... windy, fall weather. Fresh school supplies. STRESS!

What???

Yes, stress. My firstborn started 2nd grade today, and with the excitement of a new year comes the reminder as a parent that my kids are getting older every day. And it is so true that time goes faster as you age.

As much as the logical mom in my brain knows that my son will be totally fine, and will come home with stories to tell, the crazy mom in my brain (hopefully you have one of those too) starts thinking about what could happen. "What if he gets teased about the mohawk he wanted to have?" "What if the healthy nutritious McDonald's breakfast that he had this morning backs up on him?" I don't really worry about that last one, but ya know, I have to sound CRAZY here.



The point is, that when our children go to school, we lose control. And losing control equals anxiety. What to do?



First- time for a reality check. Asking yourself what is the likelihood that these things would happen? If the likelihood is low- great. You can remind yourself of that. If that doesn't work, hop on the "What If?" train and ask yourself what you would do if it DID happen? What if my son got teased at school about his hair? What would I say? How could I help him?



That leads to my second tip... if you're not sure what to do or say, talk about it. Talk with friends who have kids. Ask a professional. Read a book. Do research online. It's always good to have a toolbox. And it's totally OK to tell your kids that you need to think about it and get back to them (if you don't know what to do or say). They will still respect you, and you model to them that it's OK to look to others for help.



Finally, take care of yourself. If you have a serious anxiety issue, your kids can feel it. And genetics play a role as well- so if you have a chemical anxiety disorder, your kids can inherit it. So be prepared to help them, because research shows that helping kids manage their anxiety earlier in childhood can prevent an anxiety disorder in adulthood by remapping their brains (cool, huh??). The best way to help them is to get help for yourself.


1 comment:

  1. Nope, you're not the only with with a crazy mom side to your brain. I haven't really encountered much with my 1 and 4 year old that has been severe enough, but I know when I was teaching, I would definitely tell kids that I would "get back to them" about an issue. It is way better to take a little time and give them a confident answer (or consequence, if that's the case). Rather than regretting what you say.

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